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5 Ways to Rev Up Intimacy After 40

hi there! we are abbie & tonya, best friends in the business of inspiring, motivating and lifting women up


health & wellness




Reaching your 40s and 50s is incredibly rewarding in so many ways. But sometimes the changes that come with maturity can affect intimacy and your love life.

The scientific world and the media may claim you’re past your sexual prime at this point, but we think that’s a lie. As is true in other areas of life, sex after 40 can be the best you’ve ever experienced.

And with a few small tweaks you can regain the pleasure and excitement of your younger years and truly find your groove between the sheets. Here are 5 ways you can do exactly that:

Tip #1: Get Creative

Routines are great for productivity, but not so much for intimate relations. Switch it up and try initiating sex first if your partner is typically the one to go for it.

Venture outside of the bedroom or rent a hotel room. Try it in the morning (when testosterone levels are highest and women are most rested) as opposed to night.

Tip #2: Get Lubricated

One of the biggest challenges to intimacy after 40 is due to hormonal changes that affect not only your sex drive, but the physical act itself.

With less estrogen due to menopause, a lack of lubrication can make sex less desirable than before. Incorporate lubricants to help things move along more smoothly.

Tip #3: Get Chatty

The key to a more satisfying sex life starts with communication. Talk to your partner about what’s working and what’s not. Don’t be afraid to get vulnerable.

Healthy relationships require partners to talk to each other about their desires, needs and wants, so, schedule some time to sit down and chat.

Tip #4: Get Confident

Normal mid-life physical and emotional changes can make it more difficult for women to feel attractive and sexy. Instead of listening to negative self-talk, spend a few minutes a day naked in front of a mirror and focus on one feature you love.

Cultivating a positive body image can improve your self-esteem in all areas of your life, including in the bedroom.

Tip #5: Get Therapy

Sometimes, it can be tough to get out of your head and into the mood. And talking to your partner about it can be even tougher. Therapy can help you figure out what’s holding you back from having the amazing sex life you desire. You can attend sessions by yourself or with your partner.

Not ready for therapy? Invite your partner to watch steamy movies or read a sexy novel together. Share articles or resources and suggest trying something new together.


Gurl, you can get your groove back with intimacy, lifestyle and relationship tips from fabulous midlife women just like you when you subscribe to the Gurl U R Not Alone podcast!