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Midlife Awakening Tips to Recenter Your Relationship

hi there! we are abbie & tonya, best friends in the business of inspiring, motivating and lifting women up


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There’s a common misconception that the older we grow with our life partner, the easier it gets. But just like any stage in a relationship, it will always require effort and work.

Starts with You

Happiness comes from within. Work on yourself first and find ways to be in a positive mindset and disposition. You can’t share a happy experience with anyone if you, yourself, are unsatisfied with your life. Same as you can’t fully accept the joy radiating from your partner if the only thing you can feel and focus on is frustration, resentment, and sorrow. So, pursue your goals, continuously grow, and just find whatever will please you and make you at peace.


No one has to win, and no one has to lose in a relationship. That is if you are both respectful of each other and mature enough to handle issues. There are times that we get stuck in our old way that we don’t want to budge for the other person, but if you think about it, coming on top of an argument isn’t really winning because you just disregard someone important to you. And putting your partner in an uncomfortable position to see if you are truly loved and to get away with what you want is unfair.

Make Conscious Decisions and Actions

Misunderstanding, disagreement, and fighting are all part of being in a relationship. With each waking day, you get to know your partner better, and it’s not always sunshine and flowers. But endless bickering is not healthy for both of you, and daily arguments can tire your hearts out. We indeed get to choose our battle, so instead of fighting someone we care about, make a mindful decision and conscious effort to make today a great day.

Setting and Respecting Boundaries

Some of the misunderstandings that develop in a relationship are because of something said or done. And you may not even realize committing it because you’ve been with your partner for so long. But no matter how comfortable you are with your other half, don’t take their boundaries lightly. There is a fine line between being playful to being disrespectful.

Switch Things Up

Add variety to your life, spice things up as they say. We get so used to life that we are wired with all the routines and live them on autopilot. The older you get, the more you live by a sequence, and it’s not inappropriate to live by a schedule, but a little stepping out of the norm is not so bad either. It can be as simple as picking up the kids, cooking dinner, giving a massage, or having an impromptu date night. Jump out of your habits and bring excitement to your relationship.


It’s ironic that the older you get in a relationship, the less you feel to communicate just because you know your partner. Like it should be natural, automatic. Well, truth be told, the deeper you go, the more you need to address and be honest about issues. Unzip your emotions, let your feelings flow, and speak out your thoughts.


Gurl, you can get your groove back with intimacy, lifestyle and relationship tips from fabulous midlife women just like you when you subscribe to the Gurl U R Not Alone podcast!