We were so used to being the lead actress that when somebody else fills the spotlight, or when people look in another direction, we can’t help but feel a sense of inferiority, hopelessness, and insignificance.
As if there are no more roles and scripts written for us.
Our children no longer rely on us; men turn their heads to someone younger, friends asking for someone else’s help, and the like.
But shouldn’t it be that way?
Shouldn’t our kids find and follow their path? Shouldn’t we all grow from what we were used to?
Believe it or not, we are exactly where we should be, and this is what our lives should look like. But yes, it can be kind of sad, especially if you’ve been in a role for half your life.
So, here are some tips on how to shrug off these midlife blues.
BE THE CENTER PRIORITY
You may not take the center stage anymore in your children’s lives, but it doesn’t mean you cannot be the star because now is the perfect time to be the leading star of your own life. Do the things you’ve always wanted, pivot, and switch. Prioritize your wellbeing and happiness. You’d be surprised that the more you focus on yourself, the more it projects to others and the more they see the new you.
FIGURE OUT WHAT WILL MAKE YOU FEEL THE MOST VITAL
Your body changes as you grow, and you have to find ways to keep yourself in a healthy and vibrant stage. Look for the pieces of the puzzle and tools that you have to tweak, your smart plugs per se. These can be meditating and yoga, a new morning routine, skincare, or even hormone replacement. Be at your optimum and feel better.
CHANGE YOUR STATE OF MIND
What do you feel about aging? Is it good, or are you scared of it?
Whatever your thoughts about it will not stop you from actually growing, so you might as well feel happy about aging. And be grateful for the changes in your body and your surroundings. Change your perception and look at things, at aging, half-full because growing just means new opportunities for you.
FIND AN ACTIVITY
There are so many activities for you out there, and you just have to find the courage to start doing it. You can join courses or classes if you want to learn new things or do it the other way around. You can offer your experiences and your knowledge to the younger generation.
JOIN A COMMUNITY
Hang out with women who share the same ideas and have the same energy level as you. Your current friends can embrace the grays earlier than you or retire from some activities – there is nothing wrong with that, but it doesn’t mean that you have to, as well. If you still want to live an active life and are nowhere slowing down, find the tribe that will support and will be with you in this journey.
GET THE HELP YOU NEED
It’s essential that you acknowledge and validate your feelings and seek help if needed. A lot of women of color still find it difficult to show their emotions and vulnerabilities out, but there are a lot of people who are more than willing to listen and help you. Talk to your family or girlfriends, or even professionals. There are also a lot of groups and therapists you can connect to; you don’t have to suffer in silence. Speak out and be heard.
Our midnight blues and feeling invisible is natural – no, you are not being dramatic or sentimental – it is normal. But like what we’ve mentioned before, look at it half full and open your eyes to new possibilities.
Hear more stories of women who’ve embraced change after 40 and more when you subscribe to the Gurl U R Not Alone podcast!