Validation is the process of making something you do, or in general, yourself, thoroughly accepted by others. And it is only reasonable because, as social creatures, we have this strong desire to belong in a community we thrive. But as natural and normal as it is to seek validation, being dependent on others’ views, feedback and encouragement make us lead a tiring pretentious life and value less our own opinion and importance.
Today, let’s start to break the cycle and find genuine happiness within ourselves.
GO INTO THERAPY
Remember that there will always be a root why you seek so much validation. It can be because of your upbringing, the environment you grew up with, or a particular experience. And we need to address where we are coming from and answer the ‘why’ before we can fully recognize our visions and how we can get there without the need for validation. If you’re having trouble narrowing it down or accepting the reason, a therapist can help you better understand and manage your situation.
Write down or record a voice memo of what you were doing to help you look back for improvement and recognize what your mindset was during this time. These notes can help you self-validate – acknowledge your abilities and skills, and eventually grow confidence in yourself.
SURROUND YOU WITH A BALANCED COMMUNITY
It’s really important to have good people in your social circle to balance you out. Who can support you and at the same time call you out when needed, and who can help you speak your heart out and bring you down to Earth, too.
SURROUND YOURSELF WITH POSITIVITY
Look around you and look for something that can help you measure yourself by – inspiration and aspiration. It can be your family, friends, and even co-workers. Instead of asking for validation from people, get your yardstick and measure yourself.
SPEND SOME TIME BY YOURSELF
It can get super noisy around us that we get lost in others’ definitions of what life should be. Like how to be a mother, a good wife, or be successful, when in fact, we are all unique with different but equally beautiful journeys called life. So, do not forget to spend some time by yourself listening and realigning with your soul. To recognize your values and importance and find yourself once again.
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